How should you remember your child on International Bereaved Mother’s and Father’s Day?
– Speak your child’s name. Hearing someone speak your child’s name can bring a sense of comfort and help release the powerful emotions surrounding the days when bereaved parents are honored.
– Be sensitive to your emotions surrounding the actual Mother’s or Father’s Day. Even if there are other children in the family, the reminder of those who are missing will always remain.
For one in four women, Mother’s Day can cut to the bone because a child they love is no longer with them. The observance of International Bereaved Mother’s Day is a recognition that the connection between mother and child endures. Even death cannot sever the bond.
After the death of a child, fathers may not talk about their grief or seek out fellow bereaved fathers. However, they can experience the loss as poignantly and deeply as their child’s mother. Bereaved fathers are sometimes referred to as the forgotten grievers. International Bereaved Father’s Day recognizes bereaved men all over the world: #bereavedfathersday; #bereaveddads.
The work of grief is the hardest work we do as human beings. All the emotions that accompany our own grief, whether loneliness, sadness, anger, or guilt, all demand to be examined and reckoned with. Franciscan priest, Fr. Richard Rohr, has said, “Pain that is not transformed will be transmitted.” Our grief becomes part of the landscape of our lives. Facing the hardest parts of grief is the only way through.