• A person may say she knows how you feel, but she doesn’t. You are the only one who had your distinct relationship with the person who died, so your grief is unique to you.  A supportive person is wiser to say, “I can only imagine how you feel…”
  • People may not know how to help, and their help may cause more burden. You can respond,  “Keep me in your thoughts or prayers” or “I will let you know how you can help later, okay?”.  When the time is right for you, ask for a specific favor. 
  • People talk about themselves or offering unsolicited advice. A person may have difficulty listening or might be self-focused. “We can visit later,” is one way to sidestep the conversation.
  • People will say “You will get over it.” You won’t.  You will adjust, and you will redefine your life.

Despite these suggested responses, some people may not pick up on the nuances of the situation or of what you say and will continue making insensitive comments.  Thank them for their support, then focus on your own light and healing instead.